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Hilma Hooker Adrift
Bonaire Marine Park rangers have been scrambling this week to try and prevent serious damage to the reefs in the Punt Vierkant area of
Bonaire. The potential cause of the damage would appear to be the wreck known as the Hilma Hooker (actually a drug-smuggling freighter which sank mysteriously a number of years ago).
The Hilma Hooker wreck has very slowly been shifting locations this week during the higher than normal seas, which have been brought on by stronger than usual winds. The wreck has apparently gained buoyancy from the
trapped air left behind by the thousands of divers who inspect the vessel each year, and has begun to drift, albeit slowly, barely an inch above the bottom.
The currents began pushing the wreck northeastward and are threatening the coral at Punt Vierkant. The harbor tugs attempted to captured the wayward wreck early this week and tow her back to her home on the bottom of
the sea, but so far such attempts have been unsuccessful, thanks partially to the huge amount of drag caused by the wreck in the water. The next step in the Marine Park's effort to reverse the course of the Hooker
is to have rangers arrange for siphon lines to suck the air pockets out of the wreck, with the hope that this will cause Hilma to settle back down on the sandy bottom. One of the designers of the siphoning system
has dubbed it the "Hilma Hookah", as it will involve sucking on one end of a large hose in order to create the necessary vacuum for siphoning the air out of the hull.
Plans are currently underway to close off the inside portions of the wreck with metal bars to prevent the build up of trapped air from future scuba divers.
People wishing to watch the "Hilma Hookah" effort in progress, and possibly add their sucking ability to the effort, are being encouraged to go to the Punt Vierkunt dive site at 10AM on Thursday, the 1st of April.
ALM Purchases New Aircraft
Air ALM, the national airline of the Netherlands Antilles, has announced the acquisition of a new aircraft to counter mounting
complaints from passengers concerning recent equipment failures and frequent delayed or cancelled flights. The new aircraft is actually a used Goodyear blimp. The blimp has been lightly used, mostly on weekends, at
sporting events in the Dallas-Ft. Worth, Texas area. Passenger space is limited to 25 people with carry-ons only - no checked luggage. Service from Curaçao to Miami is expected to start May 1, 1999, departing
Curaçao's Hato International Airport every other day at 6:00am AST with a scheduled arrival in Miami at 7pm EST. Because of the strong Gulfstream winds, travel via the new Air ALM blimp from the U.S. to Curaçao will
not be possible, and instead the blimp will be deflated and shipped on the next Air ALM MD-80 back to Curaçao, hence the alternating day schedule. In-flight service will include three movies and three meals. Air ALM
has also pointed out that in order to avoid any problems, smoking will be prohibited on the 13 hours flight. Finally, with the introduction of the new Air ALM blimp service, the company is officially kicking off its
new motto which appears to have been in effect, but not in a public way, namely "Better Late Than Never!".
New NGO Forms on Bonaire
Recently, a group of concerned citizens have formed a new environmental NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) to address the growing
issue of iguana harassment. In its introductory press release, the Iguana Preservation Society (IPS) has stated that signs of iguana harassment are all around us - iguanas being used as speed bumps (known as
"iguana drempels" locally) by ignorant or malicious motorists, iguana soups and stews, dogs being sent to chase iguanas, and even iguana distance tossing.
IPS has been providing injured iguanas with medical care while their tails re-grow after close calls with traffic, dogs, and tossing contests. The new IPS NGO is planning community education seminars as well as new
"Iguana Crossing" traffic signs as a means to protect our iguana population from careless motorists. Iguana Preservation Society t-shirts will shortly be available for purchase at shops around the island,
and all proceeds will go to purchasing a kunuku for the establishment of a permanent Iguana Sanctuary. For more information contact mailto:SaveOurIguanas@infobonaire.com .
Letter to the Editor - Bonaire's Reefs
A few weeks ago, we offered our readership the opportunity to respond to the Bonaire E-News with their concerns
about Bonaire, the articles we write and publish, etc. Well, we finally got our first Letter to the Editor, which we'd like to share with all of you - it concerns the reefs of Bonaire.
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To the Editors and the People who live on Bonaire:
How can you allow all that coral to grow and choke out your nice sandy beaches? I, for one, love long sandy stretches of beaches and cannot believe you would just sit by and watch the coral reefs surround your
island. Not to mentioned the disgusting amounts of fish life and icky little crustaceans that lurk down there in the coral. Some innocent tourist might get bitten by a crab or fish and think what a scandal that
would cause on the Internet!!!
My suggestion: Underwater bulldoze the whole reef. Push it right over the edge into the abyss. Please, please do it now before more coral grows and attracts all those yucky things that swim, crawl, and touch you when
you are in the water. Just think what lovely sandy beaches you will have for building huge mega tall resorts and thousands upon thousands of people will flock to the sand to drink pina coladas and shop at Gucci.
Best Regards,
Timothy Whittien
Manhattan, New York
PS: Oh yeah, and building a couple McDonalds would be great too!
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From the editors:
Dear Mr. Whittien,
While no plans are currently underway for the removal of the coral reef, we will certainly pass on your suggestion to the appropriate authorities. On a side note, you will be happy to hear that
at least one McDonald's restaurant is planned on Bonaire. The site of the restaurant Mangerie de la Mer, which officially closed on March 31st, is to be the new location of Bonaire's very first McDonald's, complete
with drive-up service on the side of the restaurant paralleling the ocean. Rumors have been running rampant concerning the digging and closure of much of the downtown shoreline road, and the government has just
disclosed the new shoreline redevelopment plan is necessary to handle the projected traffic of the McDonald's drive-up window. The Grand Opening will be sometime this summer, and is expected to include a visit from
Ronald McDonald himself.
Microsoft's New Campus
Recent troubles with the U.S. government's anti-trust division have inspired Microsoft to create expansion plans outside the
North American continent. Sources report that the Washington-Slagbaai National Park area is currently under a pending sales agreement, with Microsoft as the buyer. This coincides with a press release just issued by
Microsoft, which indicates the software giant plans to build its newest and largest Microsoft Campus right here on Bonaire.
Sources on the island indicate that this announcement falls right on the heels of a reported vacation to Bonaire by Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen (many of you may recall having seen his mega-motor yacht at the
Harbour Village Marina in February) and a quick visit to Bonaire by Microsoft Chairman and multi-billionaire Bill Gates, who was seen in a tour bus with his wife and children several weeks ago.
As part of the new Microsoft project here on Bonaire, Microsoft will fund the building of a private jet hanger and helicopter pad at the Flamingo International Airport. Construction will start later this month on a
spacious marina for Gates' yacht, in the Goto Meer area. Bill will apparently be living on his mega-yacht here on Bonaire in the coming months so he can personally supervise the campus construction. The campus will
have its own electric plant, desalination system, and as required by the government a waste treatment plant - a critical item, as Microsoft is known around the world for producing high volumes of refuse. The
government, acting quickly last week, also passed legislation to introduce a special duty, which will apply to all materials purchased for Microsoft or shipped in by Microsoft. Any business on Bonaire selling or
working for Microsoft will be required to charge them an additional 3.25% MHLMSISS tax (Microsoft Has Lotsa Money So It Should Share tax). "The U.S. government was never so generous, plus the Netherlands Antilles
don't mind monopolies in the least. Of course, I'm not saying Microsoft is a monopoly, we aren't. Really! We have real competitors out there, and every day is a struggle for our small company. In any event, I'd
encourage all huge companies to come to Bonaire too. Compaq, IBM come on down and enjoy the good life." said Bill Gates during the Bonaire Campus Announcement. Microsoft can be contacted at http://www.microsoft.com .
Coral Bleaching - Never Again!
The Bonaire E-News has learned that visiting marine scientists will be testing a recently devised technique for preventing
coral bleaching here on Bonaire. As many of you may know coral bleaching is believed to be caused by excessively warm water over a extended time. On Bonaire, as our trade winds die down during the summer months, the
water heats up and our coral reef is at risk of bleaching, and in fact has suffered a number of bleaching events in recent years.
The new prevention method will involve the installation of two giant refrigeration units in the water - one at the North end of Bonaire, in Washington Park (soon to be Microsoft Park) and the other at the South end
of the island in the vicinity of Red Slave. Along with natural currents, giant turbines will spread the super-cooled water across the entire western shore of Bonaire and around Klein Bonaire in an attempt to ward
off the bleaching affects. The refrigeration units will automatically turn on whenever the water temperatures exceeds a toasty 85 degrees Fahrenheit (29.44 degrees Celsius)for more than 36 hours. Bonaire Marine Park
volunteers will be issued dry suits to do testing around the refrigeration units while they are in use.
Goto Meer Monster Rears its Head
Yes, the Goto Meer monster appears to be back, entertaining locals and visitors alike. The rash of sightings began just two
days ago when a German tourist lost control of her moped after Goti popped her head out of the water just a few meters from the road. The moped and tourist sped wildly into the mud flats and apparently scared poor
Goti back under the water. "Talkie" Bos, a long time resident of the Goto Meer area said Goti particularly likes to play with tourists because they get scared and scream or run. Talkie claims to have seen the
monster at least a dozen times over the years and is considered a local expert on the subject.
Scientists have argued for decades about the fact or fiction of the Goto Meer monster. Some claim Goti is a giant marine iguana which may migrate annually to Bonaire from the Galapagos Islands. Another theory is that
Goti is a giant landlocked sea turtle from prehistoric times. In any case, no verifiable documentation or pictures have ever been captured of Goti. Tourists seem to forget to take pictures when Goti appears, or in
the case of one videographer, only his own running feet were visible on the tape. The Goti myth lives on.
Bonaire Twin Cinema News & Features - April 1, 1999 only!
Bonaire Twin Cinema is located in the heart of Kralendijk next to the Exito Bakery and behind
the Cultimara Supermarket. On Thursday, April 1, 1999, Bonaire Twin Cinema will be offering the following film features (NaFl. 10.- for all normal features, special pricing for matinees on weekends):
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Underwater Movie Marathon
- Thursday starting at 9am
15 hours of non-stop underwater video by amateur videographer Jon Rikardson. Jon's action packed tapes are unedited and uncut, offering viewers a view of nature which can only be experienced by spending lots of time
underwater, looking at anything that moves. See the glory of a school of surgeonfish as they flit among the coral. Try to spot the camouflaged crabs during the special 30 minute sequence on the rubble zone. The
highlight of the marathon is never before seen footage from inside the Hilma Hooker, shot entirely with natural light, during a new moon. Special admission price: NAFl. 50.
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Travel Log: Destination Bonaire (or Scenes from Miami)
- Thursday starting at 4:30am
In a moment by moment travel log, you join Fred and Bunny Willis of Massachusetts and their two adorable children as they wake up on their first day of vacation and head to sunny Bonaire. Turbulence over Newark
provides some great action footage. The children even steal the video camera to explore Miami airport during the 5 hour delay. Each moment will bring back precious memories of your own Bonaire travel experiences.
Special admission price for this 12 hour feature: NAFl 36.
Web Site of the Week
Each week, we'll list the addresses of new Web sites that we come across that are of particular interest.
Our Web site of the week is:
April Fools On-Line - http://www.AprilFools.com
(This is for real - check out how you can create April Fools Web pages and news stories on the Internet)
If you have a new Bonaire-related Web site and want to make sure people know about it, send a message to mailto:news@BonaireENews.com with the details.
Quick Takes
- Underwater Trash Up. Tene Boneiru Shushi (TBS, translated: "Keep Bonaire Dirty") has announced the monthly Underwater Trash
Up. That's right, it's time to gather your trash and head for the ocean. The Bonaire Dive Club has been doing such a great job cleaning up the reef each month during their clean-up dives that they are running out of
reefs to clean. TBS is asking all residents to collect their bottles and cans for a worthy cause and come on down to the Underwater Trash Up to be held on Thursday, April 1st, near Karel's Beach Bar. The collected
trash will be deposited on the reefs in a natural, tossed-in way to simulate the careless polluter. Everyone is invited to join TBS and give the Bonaire Dive Club more reef to clean so they have an excuse to dive
and enjoy a great apres dive BBQ.
- Carib Guide: A Collectors Item. The much discussed and debated Bonaire Carib Guide (see the Bonaire E-News of two weeks ago) has apparently disappeared from store shelves around the island. This hotly traded
item is rumored to be selling in the NAFl. 300 range for an unread, pristine copy enclosed in hermitic plastic. So those of you who have already purchased this book, be sure to pack it safely away in a temperature
controlled dark environment and hope the market value keeps on climbing.
- Cactus Bleaching? It turns out that Bonaire's cactii may be suffering from bleaching, just as some of our now recovered corals did last summer. Naturalists have reported an increasing number of pale and badly damaged cacti out in the kunuku land. This has raised concerns about the continued health of our cactus population. In recent weeks, when temperatures have dipped just below 80 degrees Fahrenheit (26.67 degrees Celsius) with wind chill may be stressing the cactus. One dissenting researcher claims this is not a bleaching event caused by temperature but a completely new disease called "Rapid Wasting Cactii Syndrome". The researcher states the incredible speed with which certain cactii are succumbing to this syndrome may even lead to the extinction of all cactii on Bonaire. Local views on the subject vary, but one from a knowledgeable kunuku owner came straight to the point, "The goats and donkeys get very hungry sometimes."
- New Year's Eve UFO Returns. A reception was held last Friday at the Fountain Plaza at Harbour Village for a visiting UFO delegation. In a prepared statement read by a member of the delegation, they wished to
inform the Bonairean public that they come in peace and mean no harm. After the reception, the delegation was taken to see Lt. Governor Hart at his residence. After a brief meeting, Mr. Hart joined the delegation on
their UFO and left for a reciprocal visit to their planet, returning back to Bonaire what seemed like only moments later. The Gezaghebber's (Lt. Governor's) office has not released the details of the unexpected trip
and have been surprisingly quiet about the nature of the meeting which took place. A small number of the delegation has remained on Bonaire and are currently supervising a construction project with unknown goals.
Security is extremely high around the site, which happens to be in the vicinity of the stadium downtown. Odd lights and sounds have been emanating from the area. Humans who claim to have met the aliens display a
strange smile and only say "bon bon" and wave colored flags.
- Y2K Worries. Another U.S. company has released information regarding the Y2K readiness of its products. In a recent press conference Scubawood, a manufacturer of scuba gear and other sports equipment, has
released a statement stating that none of the scuba tanks they have ever produced have been Y2K tested. Without specific Y2K testing, Scubawood states they cannot be sure that performance of their equipment will be
satisfactory. Efforts to complete this testing have been delayed due to the extensive testing that is currently being done on their line of wet suits. A Y2K expert states "each zipper and seam on each model must be
tested and retested against this tremendous threat, but I have faith that when January 1, 2000 rolls around every new Scubawood wet suit will perform perfectly." Users of the popular Scubawood aluminum 80 scuba
tanks (which includes most dive operators on Bonaire) are advised to not be diving with the tanks in the two hour period surrounding midnight on December 31, 1999, as it is presently unclear whether the lack of Y2K
readiness of the tanks and their valves might have some untoward effect as the New Year hits.
- Daylight Savings Time. On Sunday, April 4th, North America will turn ahead its clocks one hour in an effort to get more useable daylight hours. The Central Government of the Netherlands Antilles has been
toying with a similar idea to increase productive hours. The current plan facing a vote of in parliament this week is as follows: Clocks will be turned back exactly one hour at 2:00pm each day, thereby extending
business hours which can now reopen at 1:00pm, without affecting the length of the average worker's lunch time. Then, at exactly 5:00pm each day, the clocks will be turned ahead exactly one hour, thereby shortening
the working day, since closing time is usually 6:00pm. This Time Plan would be called the NAST or Netherland Antilles Saves Time.
- Its Almost Tulip Festival Time. Every year around this time, the tulip growers of Bonaire open their gardens to the public and celebrate the glorious tulip. The Tulip Parade, with the very important Tulip
queen, will start precisely at 12 noon on Sunday, April 4th, at the Tulip Plaza. Stands will be serving traditional tulip recipes such as tulip stoba and loempias with tulip sauce. A special event has been added to
the schedule this year: a pick-your-own-tulip field has been put aside for a variety of contests for the children. Sign your children up early for this special event. Contact mailto:TulipFestival@BonaireENews.com
Classifieds:
Available For Free:
ROOMMATE
Roommate to give away. Very few bad habits. Likes to sleep outside. Trainable. Free to good home. Contact: mailto:AD990401-01@BonaireENews.com
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For Sale:
LAND
Prime underwater land for sale. One hectare lots in new underwater community now for sale. Great east coast location! Natural settings. Some building restrictions. Contact: mailto:AD990401-02@BonaireENews.com
AUTOMOBILE
Car for sale. Works like new except for the missing tire. Only used by a little old lady from Rincon to go to church on Sunday. Best offer. Contact: mailto:AD990401-03@BonaireENews.com
DRYSUIT
Viking Rubber Dry Suit for sale. Used only once - laughed off the dive boat. Can be used as a self contained ocean-bound vessel when used with proper propulsion. Also useful for non-messy, full body
moisturizing treatments. Easy to clean. Contact: mailto:AD990401-03@BonaireENews.com
CAMERA
Nikon point and shoot camera outfit and bag. Almost like new. Contact: mailto:AD990401-04@BonaireENews.com
VIRUS VACCINE
Our Computer Virus Vaccine will protect you from Happy99, Melissa, and the newest Papa virus which has been running rampant throughout the Internet, and as seen on CNN headline news. Protect your
computer today with this great gadget. Plug your computer into it, and never worry about viruses again. Ingenious device ensures no power will get to your computer and with no power, your computer can't contract
viruses. Only NAFl 450. Contact: mailto:AD990405-05@BonaireENews.com
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Want to Buy:
SNOW SKI OUTFIT
Men's XXL and long underwear. Planning a trip to Miami and need warm clothes. And boots too. Contact: mailto:AD990405-06@BonaireENews.com
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Lost:
POINT & SHOOT CAMERA
Nikon point and shoot camera outfit and bag at Salt City. Reward offered. Contact: mailto:AD990405-07@BonaireENews.com
Note from the Publishers
Since you have read this far, you have probably figured out that this entire issue was written in the spirit and joy of April Fool's Day. So... APRIL FOOLS!
We hope we have not offended anyone too much, and perhaps even put a smile on your faces. With that in mind, we'd like to close this April Fool's issue with the following thought:
May your day be full of good humor,
Take time out to laugh at yourself,
And find joy in being silly.
Laughter is one of the great stress reducers - use it!
Stay tuned for the _Real_ Bonaire E-News, coming out shortly.
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